Ambivalence
by MisoSoop
Summary: Maureen Klein is clinging to her life while her friends, family, and peers go through a tough time. Will the changes in these people be for the better, or worse? Maureen is a semi OFC. She was nameless in the book. [Completed]
1. Chapter 1

_**Important Stuff: **I don't own The Outsiders or the characters found in that book. I do own this plot, Maureen's family and friends, and my interpretation of this once nameless character. This story will only be posted under this pen name, either here or that other fanfiction site that I forgot the name of that's not quite as popular. If you see this anywhere else, under any other name, it has been plagiarized and I would appreciate you either reporting it or informing me.  
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_**Ambivalence**_

_One_

"I don't care! I want that place shut down, and who ever did this right on death row!"

"Mom, c'mon, not here-"

"And you! How could you let your sister even step foot near that place?"

"Brenda, honey, please calm down. This isn't his fault. We should let her rest and discuss this all at home."

"My baby's _shot_ and you just want to _discuss_ everything? I'm not leaving her alone here!"

"She'll be fine, don't worry. But you're disturbing everyone else here."

"I don't care-"

Silence. Maureen would have loved hearing her mother screaming again.

"Hey, Maureen. . . I don't know if you can hear me or not-"

She wanted to tell him that there was no reason she couldn't hear him, but she couldn't even get her mouth to move.

"But I'm real sorry. I let you down, lettin' you go off to the Dingo like that. . . I should have. . . . Anyway, you probably think I'm a pretty lousy brother huh?"

His hand was cold against hers.

"I'd imagine you're gonna be more popular than ever. You'll be drowning in flowers in no time.

xxxx

Kenneth watched his friend sit on the sidelines of the field as the rest of the team continued practicing.

"Hey man, watch it!"

Kenneth turned in time to barely catch the football hurtling towards him.

"C'mon, what's wrong with you? You almost got nailed by that thing."

"It's just James-"

"Oh yeah. . . he got nailed by the football twice today," Allen said off-handedly as he took the football from his hands.

"Not that!" Kenneth said as he shoved Allen, who stumbled. "You can't stand there an' say you didn't about what happened yesterday."

"Uh. . . alright, then I won't say anythin'."

"Oh you've gotta be kiddin' me, man," Kenneth groaned, shaking his head. Allen shoved him in return.

"Well tell me what happened then! You know I was grounded this weekend."

"You know his younger sister, right?"

"Maureen? Yeah, cute kid."

"Well, she went to the Dingo last night-"

"The _Dingo_? What the hell was she doin' there?" Allen asked with a frown.

"She's a middle, she can go where ever she wants. Anyway, some crap happened and next thing they know, someone's wavin' around a gun and Maureen gets shot."

Allen looked shocked for a moment, before he gave James a pitying look. "Man, that's a drag. . . how much do you bet it was some lousy greaser, huh?"

"You don't need to bet man, everyone already knows."

xxxx

James sat on the school bus, something that didn't happen often, and stared out the window as his fellow students chattered and laughed around him. The bus was cleanly divided; Socials and Middles in the front, Greasers in the back. He knew that somewhere back there, there were probably a few Middles, but they probably weren't there by choice.

The loudest area of the bus was the back because not only were the boys loud, but their girls were just as bad. However, because the "back" of the bus started about six seats down, the Socials and Middles were obviously outnumbered. It was probably one of the reasons that there was nothing worse than name calling going on.

It seemed to James however, that in between the taunting and laughing, his sister's accident was the one thing on everybody's lips. He glanced back at the Greasers. As a Middle, he usually had nothing against them. He knew a few that were pretty cool guys (or as Maureen might say, "groovy". James still wasn't sure where she had picked that up, he never used it).

So why, all of the sudden, did he feel a surge of anger when he looked at them? He had always been proud to know that he was a good person in the sense that he didn't judge people by their groups (and he could thank his parents for that).

But that seemed to be changing, whether James liked it or not.


	2. Chapter 2

_Well, the first chapter was obviously about a Middle (and it briefly touched on two Socs), so this one is about some Greasers and no Socs. :)_

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I'm glad you're loving this idea as much as I am.

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_**Ambivalence**_

_Two_

Darry frowned, leaning against one of the posts that supported the overhang that covered the front porch. He rolled his eyes as Two-bit and Soda tried to tell an apparently very exciting story at the same time. He glanced at Dallas, who didn't seem to be any more entertained by it than he was.

"And this guy takes out a switch and starts shit-talkin'-"

"Pulls out a gun man! Shit, I haven't seen anyone that scared-"

"Both of ya shut up," Dallas finally snapped, Two-bit and Soda immediately quieting down. "So everyone else is takin' off and this guy shoots. . . he hit a girl man, probably no older than Pony."

Soda and Two-bit's excited grins instantly disappeared.

"Yeah, not so funny now, is it?" Darry said, crossing his arms. "I don't see how you found that entertainin' in the first place."

"Man, she okay?" Two-bit asked, looking at Dallas with a concerned expression on his face.

"I didn't know who she was, so how the hell would I know? She went down pretty fast-"

"C'mon man, what if Pony hears you talkin' about this stuff?" Soda said, cutting Dallas off. Dally frowned, but kept his mouth shut.

"Hell what if your Ma hears us?" Two-bit asked, his eyes wide. Soda looked over his shoulder at the front door.

"Hey, you think Tim would know what happened?" Soda asked, looking back at Dallas.

xxxx

"Yeah, I know what happened," Tim said, taking a drag from his cigarette. His eyes didn't seem to be focusing on Dallas or Two-bit. Two-bit even looked over his shoulder to see if he could find what Tim was staring at.

"You can keep goin' anytime," Dallas said irritably.

"She's sixteen ya know... she don't look it, but she is. Sophomore. Her birthday was in the fall."  
"How does any of that matter?"

"That cute kid adored me. An' I'm hidin' that guy that shot her."

"You're. . . what?" Two-bit stammered, shocked. "It better be your brother Tim-"

"I don't need you to get onto me for it too," Tim snapped angrily, flicking his cigarette at Two-bit's boots. "Angel an' Curly are already in a fit about it, but only 'cause he's takin' over the damn place, an' they don' wanna be involved with it."

"Well ya gotta feel bad about it, man. That's someone's daughter we're talkin' 'bout-"

"You don't care when you hear 'bout anyone else dyin'," Dallas pointed out cooly as he looked over his shoulder at an older couple walking by. They picked up the pace.

"Sure I do. You're the one that doesn't care," Two-bit replied. "I may be a greaser, but that don't mean I can't feel bad when someone dies. 'Sides, she ain't dead, is she?" Two-bit asked, looking at Tim.

"No, she's still alive. . . for now at least," Tim said, staring beyond Dallas and Two-bit again.

"So who did it?" Dallas asked. Tim blinked and looked at him as if he were surprised he was still there.

"It ain't none of your business Dallas. Why don't you go track down Sylvia, huh?" Tim added with a smirk. Dallas glared at Tim and Two-bit stepped back once the first punch was thrown.

"I'm gonna. . . go check on my sister," Two-bit said loudly over their fighting. "Or somethin'. . . ."

xxxx

Steve was frowning, and he was frowning hard. In fact, he couldn't remember a time when he had frowned so much.

With a frustrated sigh he tossed the dirty rag on the floor of his car. He had tried everything he could think of, and even a few things Mrs. Curtis had used, but the blood just wouldn't come out of the car seat. And the image of that girl bleeding all over the place was still burned into his mind.

He closed his eyes, and rubbed his forehead. He'd have to find some other way to get it out or he'd have to cover up the entire back seat, and that really wasn't something he was eager to do. He silently picked up the now red rag, and climbed out of the car, slamming the door behind him. As he walked out of the DX garage he tossed the rag into the trash imagining that he had thrown away the fact that that girl had ever been there.

It didn't work.


	3. Chapter 3

_Sorry for taking so long. Christmas came and for awhile, there was no computer time. Now I have a new laptop and things are going swimmingly. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know if anything feels awkward. **

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**Ambivalence**

_Three_

"Brenda? I think it'd be best if you... didn't spend so much time in here," Gerald said, looking at his wife from the doorway of their daughter's room.

"She's in the newspaper, did you see? My little Maureen is right on the front page. She would love the picture they used, she looks so beautiful. I'm going to show it to her. I wanted to help her finish this book too. You know, read it to her?"

"Brenda-"

"Can you make dinner tonight?"

"...Sure honey."

"Thank you."

xxxx

"Maureen?" Brenda said quietly as she closed the door to her daughter's new room behind her. It was silent, except for the constant beeping that let her know her daughter's heart was still beating. She ignored the IV and other such things as she pulled a chair up next to Maureen's bed.

"It's mommy, sweetie," she said with a weak smile. She wasn's sure what she was waiting for. Brenda still wasn't sure if she would, or even could, respond to her. She reached out and held her daughter's hand, despite that fact.

"They put your story in the newspaper. Front page," Brenda said wistfully. "I wish you could see the picture they used. You really do look so pretty," she said, her voice cracking a bit. Brenda bit her lip and took a deep, quaking breath. She slowly let go of her daughter's hand, straining every inch of will power she had to stop herself from turning into a sobbing mess. Sighing, she opened her purse and pulled out a small, paper back book.

"I brought that book you were reading," Brenda said as she opened the book to the page Maureen had marked just days ago in the living room. "I wanted to finish reading it to you..." she said, staring at the words on the page. She was aware of the beeping again, and couldn't help but glance at the IV in Maureen's arm. "But I don't think I can."

Closing the book, Brenda sat and watched her daughter, feeling a bit useless as she cried those cursed silent tears she had spent the past minutes trying to keep at bay.

"Mrs. Klein?"

The gentle voice startled Brenda, who quickly wiped her eyes. "Ye-" she had to stop herself; her voice was on the verge of cracking. A deep breath, and another try. "Yes?"

"Someone is here to visit your daughter. Would you like me to tell him to wait, so you can have more time alone?"

Brenda shook her head as she stood up and dug in her purse for a handkerchief, the book falling from her lap onto the floor. "No, no... it's fine. I suppose I can't keep her all to myself for too long," she said with a watery smile as she finally found her handkerchief and dabbed her eyes.

"All right... if you're sure," the nurse said, gently closing the door. Brenda heaved another sigh, holding her head hair and sub-consciously fixing her hair. She was just finishing making herself look more presentable than she had five seconds ago when the door slowly opened again and a cautious foot stepped into the room.

Brenda, however, felt the color drain from her face once the visitor had fully stepped into the room and had closed the door behind him. She couldn't even manage an indignant squeak.

"Mrs. Klein?" He began hesitantly as she took in his oil stained clothes. "I'm Steve Randle... I brought your daughter to the hospital a few days ago."

xxxx

James tried his best to ignore the bold headline of "Local Girl Shot At Drive-In" practically everywhere he went. The dull buzz he had heard yesterday at school had been spurred on by the now public news; a dull roar grew from it and occasionally it would change to a high pitched whine when a girl would stop and talk to him.

Even now he noticed, out of the corner of his eye as he fiddled with his locker combination, the bright red hair that belonged to his friend's girlfriend, Sherri Valance. He hoped she'd keep walking by. When she only got closer with each second, he began wishing she'd disappear.

"I'm surprised you came," Sherri said, not waiting for James to look at her as he finally opened his locker. "Bob said you wouldn't be able to do it... I know I wouldn't have been able to. Or Bob, for that matter."

"Oh yeah?" James asked, grabbing his books for the morning. It was obvious he wasn't interested, but that didn't deter Sherri in anyway.

"Mhm. You're real brave, I think. But don't feel like you have to stay here. No one would blame you if you left."

"That's good to know," he said, shutting his locker and trying his best not to look at her. She still wasn't giving up. He looked down when a hesitant hand touched his arm. Sherri was smiling at him.

"I know you probably wish I would walk away... but, I know you don't have many options if you want to talk about something to someone, so... well, I just want you to know that I'll listen, if you ever do want to talk."

James was surprised, actually. So far, no one had ever offered their time if he needed to get something out of his head. He stared at the red-head, briefly thinking how lucky Bob was, and resisting the urge to hug her. He grinned. "Thanks, Cherry."

She smiled even wider at the mention of her nickname, nodded and walked away, her perfect hair bouncing slightly with each step.

The rest of his day, how ever, was less than appealing. The entirety of his first hour class, it felt like his stomach was knotting in on itself. By second hour, he was in the bathroom, throwing up. Third hour he spent planning the downfall of the newspaper and fourth hour was only a repeat of first hour. Fifth hour, how ever, was lunch and James took the opportunity to get away from the school and go to the corner store to get a coke or something of the sort.

The corner store was usually a hang out for the greasers who weren't planning on heading back to school before fifth hour was over, so James was taking more of a chance than he usually would. But he figured there was no better place to be ignored. He had no idea that one of the greasers would actually want to talk to him when he walked into the store.

"Hey, Klein!"

Surprised for the second time today, James looked away from the magazines and spotted a greaser with a friendly grin on his face looking at him. He knew the other boy, of course. Everyone knew him.

"What, Mathews?" James asked in reply as he walked over.

"Call me Two-Bit, please," He said, grinning even wider as he waved his hand and tilted his head in a rather feminine manner. James smiled a bit.

"Whaddya want, Two-Bit?"

Two-Bit's grin fell away, and for the first time James saw a worried expression on Two-Bit's face. James himself became a bit nervous because of this. "Your sister... is she gonna be comin' home soon? Ya know, is she gettin' better? Everyone's real worried about her."

James scowled. "Well, why don't you tell me. I'm sure you're familiar with what happens when someone gets shot."

"Not first-hand, no. I've never even been near a shooting until the thing at the Dingo."

"What?"

"What, you can't believe it?"

"No, not that. You were there?" James asked, a fierceness in his eyes that unsettled Two-Bit. He hesitated with his answer, looking toward the glass door. "Well?"

"Yeah, I was there."

"So you know who did it, don't you?" he demanded, causing Two-Bit to tense and take a cautious step back.

"No, I don't. It was too crazy to figure out who was doing what. Look, you got five minutes to get to school and I'm cuttin' out to get somethin' for my sister, so, hey, we're both in a hurry," Two-Bit said as he stepped around James and headed out the door. "I'll see ya around."

xxxx

"Hey, Maureen? I'm adding to the flower ocean... can you believe it? No tiger lilies. so I brought you some. This is Jackie-lynn, by the way."

The black haired girl bit her lip and looked at her friend, hooked up to God knows what and surrounded by flowers. She set the vase of tiger lilies in one of the few open places that were left and stared at them sadly before turning her attention back to her friend.

"Look," She began, standing closer to the bed. "Promise you'll get better?" Jackie-lynn said hopefully, hooking her pinky with Maureen's. Maureen didn't return the favor; no promise was ever made.


	4. Chapter 4

_Tim and Stevie goodness in this one.Sadly, this chapter isn't really any happier. But I hope you enjoy reading it anyway. There was going to be another part with Mrs. Klein, but it got too long, so she's in the next one.**

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**Ambivalence**

_Four_

Tim listened to Curly practically hack up his lungs as he walked down the sidewalk. He still wasn't quite sure where he was headed, he just knew he felt the need to go somewhere. Curly had already been out an' about and when he noticed his brother strollin' down the sidewalk, he decided to tag along. Tim wasn't too surprised when he spotted Dallas, walking down the street with the youngest Curtis boy and the little Cade kid in tow.

A few words were tossed around and eventually, once they realized neither had a destination, Tim was joined by three more people. He had been hoping to just walk in silence, to ponder things, but with Ponyboy and Curly chattin' away and Dallas calling out almost every female that walked by, he realized that probably wouldn't happen.

"Heard they were actually puttin' some consideration into closin' the Dingo down," Dallas said suddenly. That caught Tim's attention. For the moment.

"What'd you expect? They ain't makin' any money offa this publicity stunt," Tim said. He came close to rolling his eyes when Curly laughed a bit stupidly. He hadn't been at the Dingo the night it had happened. Angela, his younger sister, had barred Curly into his bedroom, a payback for a hair cutting attempt. He had been entertained enough, to stand outside his bedroom and talk to Angela, while Curly demanded he be let out. Even though Angela had changed a bit that summer, there was still enough of her left in there to tell Curly to kindly jump out the window head first.

To his surprise, Curly had climbed out the window, and hurt is ankle because of that stupid stunt. He was still limping.

"No one goes there anymore," Ponyboy added, his gaze fixed on the sidewalk. Tim wasn't sure why, but he had a feeling that the illusion of the pavement moving under his feet had caught his attention. When he was younger, he would sometimes watch it happen too.

"Sure they do," Tim said, digging in his pockets for his pack of cigarettes and a lighter. When he had them safely in his hands, he continued. "It's just all the lazy bastards that don't wanna go to Jay's though," he said with a grin, lighting the last cigarette and tossing the empty pack on the side of the street.

"You mean all the lazy bastards that sneak in anyway?" Dallas asked, looking at the discarded pack over his shoulder. Apparently, Tim wasn't the only one now out of smokes.

"You mean like you do?" Tim asked, earning a glare from Dallas. Even though he was friends with the boy, he didn't have the same immunity that the Cade kid did. Another fight wouldn't kill him though.

"You never mentioned the name of that guy," Dallas said after awhile. Apparenlty, he had cooled off. "You still hidin' him."

"It still ain't none of your business Dallas," Tim drawled, flicking his spent cigarette away.

"Aren't you worried you'll get in trouble with the cops? If that girl dies... it ain't gonna be some theft charge you'll be on trial for," Johnny said, his quiet voice almost lost over Curly's yelling match with a greaser from another gang.

"Since when did you become so law savvy?" Tim asked, glancing at Johnny. He shrugged and looked down. Tim glanced to the street instead before realizing he knew exactly where he had to go. "I'm droppin' you kids off here," he announced as he doubled back, Curly cussin' him out indignantly. Didn't matter, he could always get Angela to lock him in his room again.

xxxx

Steve was, once again, having trouble focusing on work. It was a weekend, and to earn extra money and to get away from home, he worked the same hours as Soda did. He was hoping his friend wouldn't notice, but that was like bringing an umbrella to the middle of a desert. Completely useless. Soda did notice, once the stream of giggling girls died down.

"What's on your mind, Steve?" Soda asked with a lazy grin as he leaned on the gas pump. Steve just shook his head, but that didn't drive Soda away. "Somethin's up, I can tell. Is it your old man again?"

"No, man. It's no big deal, I'm just tired I guess."

"Bull."

Steve glanced up at his friend, almost happy that he was a good enough friend to know when he was lying. "I just don't wanna talk about it, all right? It don't matter anyway, it really isn't that big of a deal."

Soda watched him a moment longer, before shrugging and wandering off. Steve sighed and stared at the asphalt, noting every crack and hole the years had caused.

He had been hoping the visit to the hospital would have helped. It did nothing of the sort. He hadn't been expecting the girl's mother to be there and hadn't looked forward to speaking to her once he found out. He barely knew her daughter; he hadn't known her name until he had read a bit of the newspaper article covering the story. The newspaper hadn't mentioned how Maureen had gotten to the hospital, just that she arrived at about 10:30 that evening, about ten minutes after she was shot.

Steve had been speeding like he was trying to out drive a tornado, terrified that the girl would die in the back of his car before he even got close to the hospital. Apparently, God had liked Maureen enough to make sure she made it there. Barely, but she had made it there.

He had gotten quite a few looks when he had carried the bleeding girl inside, and had been at the hospital longer than he intended, having questions thrown at him left and right. The only plus side was that the police had ruled him out as a suspect; his alibi was air-tight and Steve was glad he knew so many of the greasers that hung around the Dingo.

The only thing that bothered him was that he didn't know who it was that had shot the girl. He had disappeared when he had finally pushed through the crowd to see Maureen laying on the ground, people screaming and fussing, yelling for someone to get to a phone. He had done something a bit more drastic and picked her up, taking her to his car. No one tried to stop him and if he remembered right, someone from Shepard's gang actually helped him get Maureen into the car.

Maureen's mother however, didn't seem convinced that someone like him would do something like that. She didn't say that, of course, but the look on her face, even when she had smiled at him, had let Steve know.

And it was just like being stabbed in the arm and watching someone twist the knife.

xxxx

It had taken a bit of convincing on Tim's part to even get near the door of the hospital room. He didn't blame the nurse, of course; she was just doing her job. People knew who he was, it wasn't just the teenagers that ran with his gang or happened to talk to him. It wasn't just the one's who had picked fights with him either. Quite a few adults knew who Tim Shepard was, and like Maureen's parents, they warned their children to avoid him and people like him.

Maureen just didn't listen. And now she was in the hospital.

It was hard not to put two and two together. Tim just wished it wasn't so obvious. The first thing he noticed when he walked into Maureen's room was the amount of flowers. Apparently, people had been walking in and out quite a bit since she got here. The second thing he noticed was that Maureen was looking at him, a tired look on her face, as if she had just woken up. He was surprised, really. The nurse had said she'd been unconscious for most of her time here.

She didn't say anything, just watched as Tim moved closer to her bed. When he got closer however, her gaze was focused on his chest. She didn't move her head.

"Hey kid."

"Hey," she croaked, wincing a bit.

"How you feelin'?"

She cracked a smile and closed her eyes. "Like shit."

"Guess I could've figured that one out on my own," Tim said, grabbing the one chair in the room and pulling it closer. He sat down, so she could actually look him in the eye. "Never seen so many flowers in my life," he said, looking around the room again. He glanced down, noticing something under her bed. He reached down and picked it up.

"Anne Frank," Maureen said quietly, her eyes open again. "James got it," she paused to take a breath. "For my birthday."

"Any good?" Tim asked, flipping the book over and looking at the back.

"You wouldn't like it," she said, pausing again. "Girl's diary."

"Yeah, I don't think I'd be too interested in it. Readin' ain't my thing anyway," Tim said, setting the book on the small beside table. He couldn't bring himself to look at her eyes anymore. He'd probably never be able to look at those grey eyes again.

"Tim?"

He couldn't stop himself; he looked down at her eyes. She was starting to cry. Tim quickly looked at her hands instead.

"Am I gonna die?"

The question surprised Tim and he stared at her, his eyes wide. He shook his head as he regained his composure. "I don't know Maureen... I really don't."


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry this took so long. This chapter, except for Brenda's (Mrs. Klein) part, had to be completely made from nothing, as it wasn't in my original plans. It took me a while to get the chapter to where I thought it would fit in with what I wanted. That, and I've just been busy. It's short again, but I hope it's good enough to be accepted as a worth while update.**

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**Ambivalence**

_Five_

Brenda looked at the ocean of flowers that surrounded her daughter. Only two vases held tiger lilies. Only one didn't have a card. But that didn't matter. There were more vases, more cards with sweet words, more glimpses at how many people cared about her baby girl.

She had nearly had a heart attack when she had seen that boy sitting in the chair next to Maureen's bed, a thoughtful look on his face as he studied the wallpaper. No, not 'That Boy'. He had a name; Tim Shepard. He had said so, but Brenda had already known who he was. He had been polite enough as he made idle small talk for a few minutes, but that didn't change the fact that he was a hoodlum in Brenda's eyes. A reckless person whose gang ran rampant over nearly half of the Northside of town.

It had surprised her that he, of all people, even knew Maureen, well enough to visit her in the hospital even. She began to wonder if her daughter spent a lot of time with those kinds of people, and why she never knew about it. If it had been one of the reasons she had been shot.

She wasn't surprised at all however when a sudden rush of anger when through her, not only because her daughter was familiar with people like Tim, but also because Tim had been there at all. He had remained polite even as he was leaving, but he said something that made Brenda's heart stop.

"Maureen was awake earlier, if that's any comfort to you."

Brenda stared at the door for a long time after Tim had left, jealousy and despair taking their places next to her anger. Why did she have to suffer and see her daughter like this, practically lifeless? What did Tim do to deserve the simple blessing of seeing Maureen awake and responsive?

Why couldn't Tim be in Maureen's place?

xxxx

Jackie-lynn sat on the school bleachers with Sherri Valance and her friend Marcia, watching the boys practice football. Marcia and Sherri were waiting for their boyfriends, Randy Anderson and Bob Sheldon. Jackie-lynn was waiting for James, so she could go to the hospital with him. She wasn't paying much attention to the chatter of Sherri and her friend, whom Jackie-lynn barely knew, as she sat with her arms on her legs and her eyes on the sky,

It was a nice fall day in Tulsa, the sun bright and glaring in the sky. She knew that a lot of the boys practicing would be complaining about the sun, because she was sure it was getting in their eyes and making it hard to see. It was one drawback people had managed to make for beautiful weather. She squinted against the sun as she followed a bird on it's trip through the air, the wind light and fresh. Marcia was complaining that the wind was messing up her hair again.

"I swear, I don't even have to be outside for more than two seconds and my hair will be a mess," Marcia muttered, holding a small compact mirror out and fixing her hair up.

"So, where was it you were going again?" Jackie-lynn asked curiously, looking at Sherri.

"We were just gonna drive down to the movie house," Sherri said. "Wanna come with? It'd be a shame if you skipped cheerleading practice with us for no reason."

Jackie-lynn shook her head, remembering how Sherri had simply walked up to their coach and said they had other things planned. Their coach immediately said she understood and would expect them at practice tomorrow. She was still amazed at how many things Sherry had the potential to get away with. She must have had a lot of self control.

"I'm going with James to visit his sister. He hasn't been to see her in a while."

Marcia closed her compact and looked at the field sympathy written on her face. Sherri smiled a sad smile and nodded her head. "All right, I understand. We'll plan it for another day, okay?"

"Poor James," Marcia said with a sigh. "His sister was such a nice girl. I can't understand why something like that would have to happen to her," she went on mournfully. "I don't even understand why she was at The Dingo that night. She usually goes to Way-out..."

Jackie-lynn tensed, remembering exactly why Maureen had wanted to go. She didn't, however, say a word to Marcia and Sherri. They didn't need to know.

"I don't know either, but it sure is fucked up when you can't even go to the movies no more with out putting your life on the line," Jackie-lynn said, looking up at the sky again. Sherri and Marcia agreed.

xxxx

James caught the ball easily and jogged to the end of the field, slowing to a walk as he handed the ball to Bob. They were just tossing the ball around really, no helmets required. Bob hurled the ball as far as he could once again after Randy had gotten his start.

"We were thinking of going to the the other side of town when practice is over," Bob said off handedly as James took in deep even breaths, his hands on his hips as he looked up at the sky.

"Thought you were takin' your girl to the movie house," James said, watching Randy jog back.

"We had a change of plans. You wanna come?"

James almost shook his head, watching Bob take the ball and wait for Allen to run further out. There wasn't any noticeable emotion on his face. "I was gonna go visit my sister," James said finally as Bob hurled the ball down the field once again.

"This'll be better, trust me," Bob said with a grin, watching Allen jog back. He threw the ball when he was halfway back and Bob caught it easily.

"What're you gonna tell Sherry?" James asked before he ran out. He waited for an answer. Bob's grin widened.

"Nothin'. All I gotta do is drink," He said as James jogged away. He broke into a run as Bob drew his arm back. He turned and ran backwards, watching the ball come towards him. He caught it with one hand and brought it in close.

"What am I gonna tell Jackie?" James muttered as he ran back, glancing up at the stands. Jackie wiggled her fingers in a wave. James nodded, a weak smile on his face. Practice would officially be over in about five minutes. He had that long to come up with an excuse.

xxxx

Jackie-lynn was frowning, looking up at James as he told her how he needed to stay after to help Craig, a new kid on the team, get the plays down. "Do you want me to find you a ride?"

"No," Jackie-lynn said, shaking her head. "I can take a bus. I want the team to do well... but..." she paused, faltering over her words. She finally shrugged and shook her head. "I'll call you later and let you know if anything happened, all right?"

"Sure. We'll go tomorrow, all right? C'mon give me hug, huh?" James asked, an arm over her shoulders as she gave him a rather unenthusiastic hug. She waved and walked away. James turned when he heard someone talking angrily and saw Sherri, the very picture of fury, as she rounded the corner to the front of the building, her dark haired friend hurrying to keep up with her. He heard her trying to reason with her as they walked by.

James walked back to the side of the building where Randy was waiting with his car. He got into the back and eyed Bob warily. He was well on his way to being completely wasted at the rate he was drinking. James was a little surprised he had anything with him at all.

He listened to the radio and Bob's drunken rambling as Randy drove. Randy didn't seem to be paying much attention either, but he had a real tense look about him and James was starting to wonder why. He was dragged into Bob's conversation when he shoved his drink in his face. Hesitantly he drank some, recognizing the burn to be one of some sort of strong alcohol. What ever Bob was drinking, James doubted it was just some cheap beer.

It wasn't long into the drive that Bob was definitely drunk, and Randy and James were right on his trail.

"Where are we?"

"Where gonna get that bastard that shot your sister," Bob said fiercely, pounding his fist on the dashboard as he leaned forward eagerly. Randy glanced at him, obviously a little nervous. He reached over and took Bob's drink, downing some more. James hadn't realized Randy was a nervous drinker.

"How do you know? You know who did it?"

"One of these fuckin' dirty greasers, that's who," Bob said, glaring at the neighborhood around them. It only took James a moment to recognize that he was in the Northside now; it may as well have been a completely different world compared to his neighborhood. "Right there. Slow down," Bob commanded staring at a man walking further down the street. "That's him. He's the only one that would shoot someone like your sister."

James felt like his head was spinning. What was he talking about? How did he know?

"Maybe this ain't too hot of an idea," James said carefully as Randy slowed the car to a stop. Bob turned to him, his eyes blazing.

"Do you wanna get that bastard or not? Look, I know it's him okay? A fuckin' moron would know it was him. Now come on," he said, opening his car door and stepping out. He slammed the door shut and Randy and James shared a nervous glance.

But despite what ever either teenager was thinking, the obediently stepped out of the car. Bob just wasn't someone you would say 'No' too.


	6. Chapter 6

_Again, sorry for taking so long. And to those that guessed it was Johnny or Ponyboy, good guesses, but no dice. It doesn't exactly fit in with the timeline I have in my head. I'm not happy about this one, and if anyone has suggestions on how to maybe make it better, I'll take them and use them and toss out credit. :)**

* * *

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**Ambivalnce**

_Six_

Curly walked down the street, a bit nervous though he wouldn't show it. He wasn't in his brother's territory anymore. He was closer to the Brumly boys' and the Curtis' territory. Not that the Curtis' were anything to worry about, but he didn't have the best relationship with the guys from Brumly. Tim said it was because he was dumb as a rock and couldn't figure out how to keep his mouth shut. Curly thought that whoever got offended could just go gnaw on a shoe. If they couldn't handle it, too bad.

"Yeah," He muttered, pausing to snatch an unopened coke from someone's front porch. They came outside of their house as he was hopping the fence to get away. "If you can't handle it, that's just too bad," he said smugly, trying his best to imitate Tim as he walked down the street, drinking his stolen prize. A lot of people said he looked like Tim, without all the scars, and Curly took pride in that. Tim was a tuff lookin' guy; it was the one reason Angela said he looked nothing like Tim.

_"You're about as tuff as that three year old down the street." _

He'd show her, the bitch...

Curly almost jumped, almost, as he heard a car door slam not far behind him. He casually looked over his shoulder, drinking his coke, which he almost choked on. He turned back and chucked the only half empty coke can into the street. "What the hell are Socs doin' 'round here?" He muttered, mustering every little ounce of self control he had to stop himself from looking back again. He could here them calling him names now, hollering about getting what was coming to him.

But Curly kept right on walking, listening to their footsteps get closer as they continued yelling, slurring their words as they mentioned shooting someone. Curly had never shot anyone in his life. He looked over his shoulder, glaring and confused. It was when he saw how close they actually were that he took off running. Curly wasn't anywhere near as good as a fighter as Tim and just lookin' like him wasn't going to help him prevent those Socs from jumping him.

What Curly was good at, was running.

xxxx

James was the only one who hesitated in chasing the kid down the street. He had only looked to be about fourteen or fifteen now that he could see him better. He didn't think it was fair, a bunch of eighteen and seventeen year olds jumping a younger kid. He couldn't imagine that kid pullin' a gun on anyone. But what if he had? Isn't that what some greasers did? Weren't some of them hoods?

It's funny, how one incident can change your entire preception on a group of people.

xxxx

Two-bit was leaning on the rusty chain link fence that surrounded his yard talking to Tim. He had been wondering if anything new was going on. He was a bit disappointed when Tim shook his head and lit a cigarette. All he had was the police were still looking for Maureen's shooter.

"They ain't given up?"

"Her dad won't let 'im. Angela saw him in a store the other day. Said he looked pretty hassled."

"Like Dallas after he gets out of jail?"

Tim smirked and took a drag from his cigarette. "Ye-"

Both teens paused and looked down the street, watching as someone ran up. A someone that was calling their names.

"Is that Curly?" Two-bit asked, standing up a bit straighter as Tim took another drag from his cigarette.

"Think so."

"What's he runnin' from?"

"Dunno. Maybe he ticked off someone from a different gang," Tim said, obviously not interested. Two-bit swore as someone tackled Curly to the sidewalk, and began wailing on the poor kid.

"Greasers don't fight three against one," Two-bit said, frowning. Tim looked over and tossed his cigarette away, walking a few paces down the sidwalk before he broke into a jog, Two-bit behind him. It didn't take long for Tim to get to his brother and to grab the guy, who Two-bit realized was obviously a Soc, that had beating on his younger brother. Two-bit was about to throw in a few punches of his own, before he realized who he would have been punching.

Though he looked a bit dazed, he had the same upset expression he had worn when Two-bit had last seen him. Two-bit grabbed his shirt and pulled him away from the fight, now that Curly was back on his feet, and shoved him against a nearby chain link fence.

"What the hell are you doing?" Two-bit demanded, shoving him against the fence again. "You think it's fun to jump kids now? How'd you like it if someone walked up and started beatin' the shit out of Maureen?"

"Someone already shot her!" James shouted back, shoving Two-bit away.

"So you're gonna get back by hurtin' someone else?"

He could hear Tim swearing as he chucked something down the street. "I don't wanna see your faces down here again, you fuckin' Socs, or I'll do a lot worse than what you've got already!" Two-bit stumbled as Tim put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him away.

"What the hell were you thinkin', huh? Runnin' around with those pricks?"

"I... I coldn't get out of it," James said. "I didn't hurt him. I didn't know."

"You were going to. You're just like the rest of 'em," Tim said, glaring at James. Two-bit wondered why James was still able to talk. "You're lucky you're Maureen's brother."

Curly looked just as confused as Two-bit felt. Why did that make a difference to Tim?

"That's Maureen's brother? I didn't know her brother was a soc."

xxxx

Soda slammed a hand on the counter of the DX, startling Steve out of what ever daze he had been in. Steve glared at him, but gave up when Soda gave him a rather serious look. He had been avoiding talking to Soda too much lately, since Soda would always stray back to the topic of Steve's sudden change in attitude.

"All right Steve," Soda began, frowning. It made Steve a little uneasy. It wasn't often that you'd see Soda with such a serious expression on his face. "I know something's up. What I don't know is what. It's been long enough and I think you should tell me what's going on."

Steve frowned and glanced out the window. There weren't any customers there to save him this time.

"You know the girl that got shot right?"

"I don't know her but I know about her. Why, did you know her?"

"No... but I was there the night it happened," Steve said, not missing the startled look on Soda's face. "I didn't do it if that's what you're thinking. I knew it would take too long for anyone to get there so someone from Shepard's gang helped me get her into my car so I could take her to the hospital."

"So..."

"I pretty much saved that girl's life and I was still treated like shit," Steve said, obviously upset. "The people at the hospital were staring at me like I had grown a second head..." he muttered, shaking his head. Soda frowned but didn't make an attempt to interrupt him.

"That's why I was covering up my seats a few days ago," Steve added. "She had bled all over the place. I went to visit her, but she wasn't awake... and her mom was there."

"Yeah? What'd she do?" Soda asked, raising his eyebrows. Steve scowled and took a deep breath as he looked up at the ceiling.

"She wasn't too happy to see me, that's for sure. She didn't say anything mean, but I could tell... she didn't believe a word I was saying when I told her I had brought her daughter to the hospital and wanted to make she sure was gonna pull through. I don't know what was goin' through her head but..." Steve paused. "But I don't think she was thinkin' too kindly of me."

Soda was quiet for a long time, a thoughtful look on his face, before he grabbed his jacket and walked to the front door. "Come on," he said, nodding to Steve. "We're gonna go see if we can't clear this up."

"What?"

"We're gonna check on Maureen and her parents. Maybe then she'll realize that good ol' Steve ain't that bad of a kid," Soda said with a grin.

"If we leave, we ain't gonna get paid," Steve said firmly. Soda stared at him before shrugging.

"I ain't just gonna let ya mope around like this Stevie. You comin' or not?"

xxxx

Jackie-lynn stood outside Maureen's hospital room, biting at her her fingernails. She was waiting for the nurse to come back out, to let her know if it was okay to visit her today. She wasn't sure how much time had passed exactly, but she was guessing it was probably around ten minutes or so.

She held her breath as the doorknob turned and the door slowly opened. She tried to ignore the look on the nurse's face and glanced at her small name tag instead: Nancy.

"I'm sorry, but you won't be able to visit her today," She said, at least making an attempt to look sympathetic. "She's not doing so well-"

Jackie-lynn felt her stomach dropped and suddenly felt very cold. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She saw the nurse talking but couldn't hear a word she was saying as she steered her toward a chair in the hallway. Jackie-lynn dropped down into the chair and finally found her voice.

"She's... she's going to make it though, isn't she? Did you tell the doctor?"

"I told the doctor and... he's on his way... but I don't know if she's going to make it at this point. Do you want me to call someone?"

"That'd great," Jackie-lynn muttered, staring at the floor. "Can you call her brother for me?"

The nurse nodded and stood up, patting her head. "I think we have the number on file. Just sit tight, sweetie."


	7. Chapter 7

_D:_

_Short chapter, and probably not really worth the wait. It's more of a filler than anything, but I needed to write something. I'm trying to figure out how to write the end, which is proving harder than I thought._

_Sorry for the wait and the lame update. **

* * *

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**Ambivalence**

_Seven_

Cherry was lounging on the floor of her living room as she flipped through a magazine, dressed in one of the few pairs of jeans she owned and a long sleeved shirt. She had been so upset about Bob that she hadn't wanted to go to the movies anymore. She and Marcia went their own ways; Cherry to home, Marcia to the movies with another friend. She felt bad, but, lounging around the house with no makeup and her hair still damp from a shower... she felt better than she would have at the movies.

She heard the phone ring and was up off the floor by the third ring. Cherry snatched up the phone before it could ring again.

"Sherry Valance speaking," Cherry said automatically as she put the phone to her ear. She began fiddling with the cord.

"Cherry? Cherry it's Jackie... have you seen James?"

"No... I haven't seen him since I walked by him after school. Why, is something wrong? Is he missing?"

"I can't get a hold of him. He needs to come to the hospital right away."

Cherry noted the slight waver in Jackie-lynn's voice and stopped playing with the phone cord.

"I'll try to figure something out, all right? I'll send him right over to the hospital and call you if I find him," Cherry said. Jackie-lynn muttered an okay and hung up the phone. Cherry trotted up to her bedroom and ran a hair brush through her hair again and pulling it up in a ponytail. She pulled on a pair of sneakers and looked out her bedroom window. Maureen and James lived further down the block, across the street from her house. It didn't look like their father was home, but she knew their mother was. She was debating on telling her about James, but she probably already knew.

But something else caught her eye, something that made her hurry back down to the living room for a better look. She hadn't been seeing things. Two greaser boys were walking to the Kleins' house.

xxxx

"I think you lucked out, Steve. It doesn't look like both parents are home," Soda said as he sauntered up the driveway before turning onto the walk way to get to the front door. Steve trailed behind. It would have been better if no one was home. He didn't want to talk to Maureen's parents.

Maureen's house was small compared to the others on the street, but it was still a pretty good size and he didn't feel right, standing in front of her door. He wasn't sure how Soda had known where her house was and he was about to ask when the front door opened.

Mrs. Klein stared at them, her eyes darting between the two and her grip on the door tightened, like she was getting ready to slam it shut.

"Hi Mrs. Klein. I'm Sodapop Curtis. I helped your son mow the lawn once, a few months back."

Mrs. Klein seemed to relax a bit. "I remember. He had to clean up the house and he had waited too long. He was lucky you had stopped by after school. Did you get a good grade on that project?"

"Sure did," Soda said with a grin. Steve knew he was lying. He never got good grades on his projects. He usually didn't do them.

"Steve, right?"

Steve looked up, now that Mrs. Klein had finally decided to acknowledge him. She smiled a bit as he nodded.

"I think I know why you're here. And I looked like I didn't believe you because I didn't," she said simply. "I was a bit upset and I'm sorry... I wasn't sure why you were there and... well I didn't think that you'd be the person to save Maureen's life. I grew up on this side of town and, believe it or not, there was a bit of a tiff between the North and South side back then too. It's not as bad as it is now, but it was there. It's sad to know that nothing's changed.

"But I shouldn't leave you standing outside. Come on, you can come inside and we'll talk, though I think we've already cleared most of this up."

xxxx

Cherry was chewing her bottom lip as she drove her car to the other side of town. Someone had seen James in Randy's car heading in that direction and, determined to find that boy, Cherry had abandoned the South side search for the North side search. She wished her dad hadn't bought her such a nice car. It made her nervous driving it, because she didn't want to do something stupid and total the thing, but it labeled her pretty clearly as a Soc. which wasn't something she was always proud of.

She slowed down as she reached a stop sign, looking around anxiously for the familiar blue car or for James. She didn't see him or the car so she continued on her way. She wished she was friends with more people up here; she would have been participating in a long game of phone tag instead of driving around aimlessly. She wasn't even sure if she was on a time limit.

"Hey Cherry," someone called and she slowed down and looked over. James was there, but he hadn't been the one to call her over. Cherry quickly unbuckled herself and climbed into the passenger's seat.

"James I've been lookin' all over you," Cherry said irritably. James didn't look up at her from his place on the sidewalk. He looked so pathetic, sitting on the sidewalk with his head down, leaning against a rusty fence. "Jackie-lynn says you need to get to the hospital right away, I think somethin's goin' on with your sister."

He looked up then, and before Cherry could figure out what was going on, she had James and three greasers in her car. And one of them had taken a place in the driver's seat.

"Hey-"

"Curly, get outta the damn car. You don't got any business at the hospital," He said irritably as he turned to look at what Cherry guessed was his younger brother. Grumbling, Curly got out and his older brother started the car and took off down the street. A sharp turn caused Cherry to hit her head on the window.

"Watch it! I gotta pay for this damn thing if you wreck it," She snapped. She recognized the boy who had hijacked her car as Tim Shepard, and the other greaser in the back seat as Two-Bit Mathews. Cherry was pretty sure he was a Junior or something close to it.

Tim smirked a bit as he got comfortable. Cherry buckled herself in and scowled at him. "Don't you mean Daddy's gotta pay for it?"

"No. I meant what I said. I wanted a cheap car, but he bought me this... thing. I just started driving not long ago, I don't need a car like this."

"I'm surprised," Tim said.

"I'll take it off your hands if you want," Two-Bit said with a grin as he leaned forward and looked between Tim and Cherry.

"Sure, an' you can explain that one to my dad too."

"Hurry up Tim," James said anxiously from the back seat. "If somethin's goin' on I need to get there. Fast."

"Don't worry," Tim said with a smirk. "Fast's my thing."


	8. Chapter 8

_Uh... I definitely think this could have been better. I'm so sorry for sucking. Really. I think my writing toned this down way too much, so this is a test run. Suggestions on how to make it better? Or was it just fine the way it was? The next two chapters aren't going to be reactions (I don't want to depress myself I did like I did with RitD and Blindfolded), but recaps of Maureen's relationship with Tim, and the night she was shot. Good idea? Or a bad idea?_

_I'm throwing this out there for help. I'm begging for it. Please, if you can, give it. "OMG"s aren't going to help me. _****

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* * *

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**_Ambivalence_**

_Eight_

Steve sat awkwardly on the couch in the living room. Mrs. Klein had been friendly enough about everything, and she wasn't being insincere this time, but Steve still wanted to get out of this house as soon as possible. Sodapop kept glancing at him, and he knew that it was possible he had been blowing all of this out of proportion, but he didn't want to hear it from Soda later.

"I think it was because I didn't want to believe that my daughter... well, spent time with hoods." Soda tensed and Steve glared at Mrs. Klein, but she did look apologetic. "I didn't realize that not all of you were like that. I realized that only a few days ago. I'm sorry."

Mrs. Klein paused as she glanced out the window, her gaze slowly traveling to the front door. Steve heard the front door open, but he thought it'd be best not to look over his shoulder. Soda, how ever, couldn't stand not knowing what was going on around him, and turned around.

"They still haven't found him."

That caught Steve's attention and he looked over his shoulder at who he could only guess was Maureen's father. He had the same hair as she did and looked a bit like Maureen's older brother. He looked tired, as if he had been on the run for a year and hadn't been able to sleep more than five hours.

"All of those people and no one saw him," He muttered, walking off to somewhere else in the house. Mrs. Klein looked a bit sad, and excused herself after asking if they were thirsty. Soda and Steve said no, not really wanting to take anything from her.

"All right... well, just relax then. I'll be back in a minute," Mrs. Klein said, looking a bit disappointed that they hadn't wanted anything. Steve wasn't sure why anyone would be upset about that.

xxxx

"Jesus Christ, how the hell taught you how to drive?" Cherry screeched as the car jerked to a stop in front of the hospital. James climbed out, as did Two-bit, but Cherry couldn't bring herself to move. Tim flicked the cigarette he had lit, while driving, out the window.

"I've been drivin' since I was fifteen, don't worry your pretty little head about my driving skills."

"_Fifteen_?"

"Drag racin'. You can have your car back, by the way," Tim said easily as he got out of the car and closed the door, leaving Cherry alone in her car. She turned quickly and watched him walk through the hospital doors, before cursing and shoving her door open, slamming it shut as she jogged to catch up with him.

She fixed her ponytail after she had managed to fall in step with Tim, which was proving to be hard, since he took awful long strides, and Cherry's legs weren't that long. "Oh, so you decided to tag along?" Tim asked, smirking.

"I know the family, I have as much right to be here as you do," Cherry muttered, following Tim through the halls of the hospital. They continued walking in what Cherry could only describe as an uncomfortable silence, though she doubted Tim cared whether she was as silent as a rock or as chatty as a school girl.

Two-bit was waiting outside what Cherry guessed was Maureen's room, leaning against the wall and looking up at the ceiling, his hands in his pockets. "James is already in there. We can only go in one at a time, but I probably won't go," Two-bit said once they got closer. "I didn't really know the girl anyway, I don't need to be takin' up time."

"How could you take up time?" Cherry asked, trying to at least get a conversation halfway started.

"...They said not to take too much time in there but..." Two-bit paused and looked around the hallway. "If you want, you two should probably just go in. They don't think she's gonna hold on for much longer."

Cherry paled a bit and stared at the door, almost afraid to open it. Did she really deserve to go in there?

Tim stepped around her and pushed the door open, leaving Cherry and Two-bit outside in a much more comfortable silence. They had at least one thing in common. They didn't feel they had the right to be in that room.

xxxx

A few minutes had passed, minutes that had eventually led to Tim being alone with Maureen. She didn't look anything like the sixteen year old he remembered; her skin was too pale and unhealthy looking, her hair didn't look as nice and her eyes, when she opened them, were dull. Maureen had muttered that she hadn't ever been glad that a room didn't have a mirror.

"I'm glad you came," she said suddenly, her voice weak. Nothing like her loud happy voice she usually had.

"You act like you'd never see me again. I woulda seen you once you got out."

"This isn't jail... I'm not gonna be gettin' out like you an' Dally do..." Maureen said, smiling a bit. "Tim?"

"Hm...?"

"...Don't be too sad, okay? Keep your cool while everyone else is losin' their minds."

"I always do," Tim said easily. "Kid... Maureen."

"Yeah?"

Tim looked up at the ceiling, exhaling long and slow. He hoped he'd never have to say this again.

"I'm sorry."

Maureen was quiet, her eyes closed and her breathing slow. She smiled suddenly, a weak smile, but a smile none the less. Her fingers brushed Tim's hand.

"It's okay."

xxxx

"Goodness, does the phone ever stop rining in this house?" Brenda muttered, as she stood up once again to answer the phone.

"I'll take the phone offa your hands if you want, Mrs. Klein" Soda said with a grin. Steve rolled his eyes as Brenda laughed.

"That's okay Sodapop," She said as she walked into the kitchen. She picked up the phone and put it to her ear in one swift motion. "Brenda Klein speaking."

"Mrs. Klein... this is Ethel Graff. I'm a nurse here at Tulsa Regional Hospital..."

Brenda fiddled with the phone cord, feeling nervous.

"Mrs. Klein, I'm so sorry."

The clatter of the phone falling to the tiled floor was loud and clear.


	9. Chapter 9

_This is completely different from the first one I wrote. This version was written during school in the cafeteria while listening to the radio. I like it better than my first one, because it follows the style better and has a nice lead off into the next chapter. Opinions always welcomes, especially from the people who read the first version. Better or worse? Improvements? Something I should take from the first?**

* * *

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**Ambivalence**

_Nine_

"I don't know what she saw in you."

Tim simply blew his cigarette smoke up toward the sky. He knew she wasn't expecting any kind of reply out of him. He was surprised she was here at all; no one had seen her around much.

Out of the corner of his eye Tim could see her sit down on the curb next to him, adjusting her skirt and wrapping her arms around her legs. She had a blue sweater on.

"I mean... you don't come across as... potential boy friend material. Ya know?" She paused. "Maybe I'm not looking hard enough."

"Maybe Maureen was just looking too hard."

There was a moment of silence then, and during that time she stretched her legs out in front of her and moved back, so her feet were resting on the curb.

"Do you always sit on the curbs of empty streets?"

"You always on this side of town?"

"...No."

"There ya go," Tim said, flicking his cigarette far into the street. He noted that neither of them had bothered to look at each other. He figured they didn't need to; you didn't have to look each other in the eyes for this conversation. The level of understanding was already there.

"It's only been a week," She said absently. Tim couldn't see what she was doing, now that she had moved back. Another moment of silence, and she moved closer, her shoulder not far from touching him. "I saw you... at the funeral... I'm glad you went."

"You the only one that knew?"

"...Yeah."

"Come on," Tim said, standing up and dusting the back of his jeans off. She looked up at him, frowning. "I ain't gonna do nothin'."

She stood up, running her hands over her skirt. "I didn't think you were going to."

"...Maureen didn't either."

xxxx

Tim learned that the girl's name was Jackie-lynn, and he realized it was a name he had already known, he had simply forgotten it. She was hugging herself, probably because of the wind that must have been getting through the material of her sweater. She didn't ask where they were going, or why, she simply followed.

She was confused by the time they had reached the school parking lot, looking around and tapping her foot.

"This was the first place I saw Maureen," Tim said, his hands in his pockets. "Came out those doors and waved like she'd known me all her life. I had no idea who she was."

"She told me about you when she got home... said, 'Tim Shepard was hangin' around the parking lot after school... an' he ain't half bad lookin'," and laughed. I didn't realize..." Jackie-lynn paused. "It seemed like it was only a week later that she was tellin' me you were goin' out."

"I thought she was a cute kid... but I wasn't lookin' for a long term relationship. She was the first girl who refused to have sex with me."

Jackie-lynn smiled as Tim began walking away from the parking lot. "I'm surprised you stuck around after that."

"I don't give up that easily. When I want somethin' I'll get it."

"And you never did..."

"No, I didn't..."

"...She said you were a pretty nice guy... that true?"

"No. I was just nicer to her than I was other people. Just turned sixteen when we hooked up... ain't nothin' that'll come outta bein' mean to a sixteen year old."

"...Are you nicer 'cause you have a younger sister?"

Tim frowned and glanced at Jackie-lynn. "Well, I dunno. Some of the guys I know... they can be real jerks, but compared to other guys, they're a lot nicer, an' it's usually 'cause they have sisters. Ya know, kind of like... 'I wouldn't want some guy to do that to my sister, so why should I do it to some other girl' kinda thing."

"You really do think too much. I don't know how anyone can stand it."

"It keeps them entertained."

A long moment of silence, and Tim could hear the cars driving further down the road, and a bird somewhere in the tree. The bird was getting pretty annoying.

"I met Maureen when I was ten years old," Jackie-lynn said suddenly. "An' the first thing she said was, 'I'm Maureen, an' I'm gonna be a super star. You wanna be one with me?'"

Tim's frown deepened as he watched Jackie-lynn. He didn't want her to start crying.

"...I told her not to go to the Dingo that night. But she wanted to find you... to tell you something. She said it was important... she really cared about you, you know."

Tim didn't say anything, and Jackie-lynn fell silent, wiping her eyes. He wanted to tell her that he already knew, but he didn't see what difference it could possibly make. He had cared about Maureen too... but not even close to the way she had cared for him. She could have picked anyone else, but she picked the guy that couldn't love her back.

xxxx

Jackie-lynn stared across the street, her face pale. Tim stoney faced, lit a cigarette and took a long drag from it. Another wind whipped by. The Dingo was practically empty at this time of day. Only about three cars were sitting around, the people inside waiting for their food or already eating it.

"This is the last place I saw Maureen," Tim said, the cigarette slowly drifting from his mouth as he spoke. "I think I'll remember the last time longer than the first time."


	10. Optional Chapter

_I'm gonna be beat upside the head for this. Sorry. Just don't kill me for this awful ending. :(**

* * *

** _

**Ambivalence**

_Ten_

_Maureen would never be sure of the exact moment she fell in love with him, she wasn't sure why it had to be then, at that day, driving down the empty road with nothing but fields on either side of them. Maybe she found it romantic at the time. But once the car screeched to a stop, her chest rising and falling heavily as she ran her fingers through her messy hair, she realized that whenever it had happened, it didn't matter. _

_What's done is done, and at that point, bodies pressed together in the most feverish of dances, there was no going back. Maureen would never be the same again. _

_Whether she knew of the trouble this relationship could get her into, Maureen seemed to care not. He hadn't dropped her after she refused to have sex with him, and that simple gesture had Maureen's little heart convinced he wanted her for her, not for the pleasure he could get out of this relationship. And maybe she was right. But with Tim Shepard, you could never really count on anything to be definite. _

_This teen was devloping a taste for a fast paced life, craving excitement, and she was convinced that Tim would be there with her during her little adventures. _

_A few fights here and there with other girls, but Maureen was proving she was a tough girl, covering up any bruises with make up while her best friend covered the story. Her family was none the wiser, and the greasers that saw her with Tim kept their mouths shut. _

_She and Tim got in arguments of their own, over drinking and girls, guns and knives, but both seemed determined to keep a hold on each other, and didn't hold a grudge for too long. _

_Maureen's best friend, the only one on Maureen's side that knew what was going on with Tim, encouraged her to drop Tim off and run like hell. Maureen tried to convince her that there was something more to Tim than she saw, but she never even caught a glimpse of what she might be talking about. And she was even more convinced Maureen should drop him when she saw Tim with another girl. _

_Maureen was upset, no doubt. She confronted Tim about it, and was thrown a few denials, so Maureen went out and bit back. This was the first incident but it wasn't the last. Tim and Maureen kept biting, and Maureen earned a reputation of her own. _

_Her reputation would eventually lead to trouble as Tim and Maureen backed off and stopped their attacks on each other. They were a realitively functional couple when they weren't arguing. But problems weren't far away._

_Curly and Angela Shepard were never ones to keep their mouths shut, so when they let it slip to one of the guys from Brumly while they were out at the Dingo that Maureen had been getting around town, and was perfectly willing to keep going, it was the beginning of an end. _

_Maureen was his, in Tim's mind, and if someone messed with something that belonged to him, he wasn't going to let it drop. When he heard from, ironically enough, Curly that boys from Brumly had been harrassing Maureen, and at one point had actually tried to hurt her, he wasn't happy. _

_Angry that Maureen hadn't told him, and that some one would mess with something that was his, Tim found a gun while Maureen was being fussed over by Jackie-lynn, the ever faithful best friend. _

_Jackie-lynn had heard a bit more of what was going on than Maureen had, and she mentioned that Tim was planning on shaking up the boys who had been bothering her. Maureen seemed to realize the problems that could cause before Jackie-lynn did, and was adament on getting to The Dingo. Jackie-lynn argued that she shouldn't go, that there was nothing she could do, but in the end let Maureen go. It would be the one thing she would always regeret. _

_Maureen knew that on a Sunday night, The Dingo wouldn't be loaded down with any younger kids. It'd only be the tough crowd out tonight, the ones who couldn't care less about school the next morning, or whether they were going to die or not._

_Crossing the street in a flurry of skirts and worry, Maureen had no idea she'd be the infamous Dingo Girl. The one who would set The Dingo's reputation in stone as quickly and loudly as a gunshot. She only wanted to stop Tim before he did something stupid. _

_Calling out his name as she jogged up was Maureen's third mistake that night. Tim was already heated up, yelling and cussing and throwing threats where ever he could. A punch was thrown in the moment gained from Tim glancing over, and Tim threw one back. Maureen was on Tim's arm when a switch was flipped out. Some people were already taking off, and others were moving in. When Tim pulled out his gun, chaos ensued. People ran, mostly the girls of the greasers who were hoping to see someone get shot. Maureen was shoved, Tim was shoved, and a gun went off. _

_There were few people who saw exactly what happened. In all of the chaos, no one was even sure who had pulled the gun. But Tim knew. And Maureen knew. And Tim knew that he had to get out of there. He was gone by the time Steve Randle pushed through the crowd. He had thought it was Tim that had been shot, and was stunned to find a girl laying on the ground, bleeding. She was still alive, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as Steve knelt down and scooped her up, blood getting all over his arms. _

_People were still shoving past him, getting in the way as they tried to get away from the scene of a crime, or trying to catch a glimpse at the bloody girl in his arms. He had no idea that Tim was making his way back home, a bit shaken up, though he hid it well, as he hid the gun under his shirt again. He already knew he'd have to lie to cover his own ass, since disappearing would only lead the cops to start searching for him. And they'd probably find him eventually, throw his ass in jail and probably right on death row. _

_He didn't enjoy killing people. He hadn't wanted to shoot anyone that night, least of all Maureen. _

_But what's done is done. There was no going back. _

_And if you were wondering what Maureen's second mistake was, it was going to The Dingo. Her first mistake was staying with Tim._


End file.
